Depression is no Fantasy
more like a Thriller
an overly creepy
unsolvable mystery
a dark and twisted comedy
by the worst writer in history.
Depression = The Movie
ya – not – a – fan
Starts out all RomCom predictable
and as the heroine, I was pretty capable
then – SNAP – scene change – Plot Twist
I am crying
showers and razors
random sex with strangers
alcohol
trying to numb
trying to feel
anything but this pain inside
medications declarations
I’m trying to hide
the darkness falls
I’m climbing the walls
with questions and judgements
self abuse
constant feelings
of what’s the use
No end of scene
to rescue me
No “That’s a wrap”
just voices screaming
whispering, teasing, taunting
not even Hitchcock and his birds
can stop this haunting
A nonstop action
all fights and explosions
or the ultimate drama
too many emotions
out of control
the writer
my mind
running lines of self hate and shame
The plot is gone
taking my sanity along
The credits start rolling
Failure – Worthless – Ugly
Stupid – Unloved
You . Will . Never . Be . Good . Enough
The marquee flashing
Just . Give . Up
I look to my castmates for help
I’m reaching, seeking understanding
All I get back is confusion and questions
judgements and useless
fixit suggestions
It’s not that bad
merely a montage
showing only the bad scenes
others have it worse
get out of your head
why don’t you - -
CUT - CUT - CUUUUT!!
Let’s do a character building exercise
maybe then you’ll see
what this is doing to me
all night, every day
this character I’m forced to play
Close your eyes
repeat after me
I AM NOTHING
I AM USELSS
I AM A FAILURE
now pick your worst fear
most horrific nightmare
relive it over and over
replay every scene in slow motion
make sure to feel every emotion
over and over
until you scream
are afraid to dream
Once again
repeat after me
I wish I was dead
if only to silence the voices
in my head
I wish I was dead
their lives would be better if I was gone
I’m better off dead
I wish I was dead
I wish I was dead
I wish I was
NOW STOP
open your eyes – see – no ghosts
listen – silence
that’s the difference
You can strike the set
when you realize it’s wrong
erase the scene
like it never was
and simply move on
I am forced to carry on
Because Depression my friends
is the Horror film
that never ends.
